KenBya Random Series
by ChibiSenbonzakura
Summary: A series of random moments between Kenpachi and Byakuya. Kenpachi stubbornly chases an uninterested Byakuya. Rated M for language, violence and adult themes.
1. Contents

A series of random Kenpachi and Byakuya moments. Kenpachi stubbornly chases after an uninterested Byakuya. There will be violence and bad language in some chapters. I may also include some yaoi later.

Disclaimer: I own nothing and make no profit blah blah blah. You all know already xD

Chapter 1: Pond Musings

Chapter 2: Hiding with Kenpachi

Chapter 3: I Heard You Like Bananas

Chapter 4: Seranading

Chapter 5: Steam Room


	2. Pond Musings

Kenpachi had his eyes on Byakuya again. The noble was watching the koi in his pond, his eyes glazed over as his mind was occupied. Thanks to this, Kenpachi was able to sneak up behind the unsuspecting male. He closed his eyes as he wrapped his arms around Byakuya's waist. But to his surprise, when he opened his eyes he was only hugging the captain's haori. Before Kenpachi could fully register what had happened a whisper of "Scatter Senbonzakura" came from behind him. _'Oh, shit' _was all Kenpachi could think before the blades sliced through him and he fell into the pond.

Byakuya walked away with an annoyed sigh and muttered to himself, "I hope Yoruichi wasn't around to see that I stole her move…"


	3. Hiding with Kenpachi

**This is based on the Illustrated Guide Book from episode 142. The idea came from HotDemonOfaButler; once again she has my thanks. ^^**

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After going to the world of the living, Byakuya and Kenpachi return with Rukia, Renji, Hitsugaya and Matsumuto. The squad 10 captain and vice-captain immediately leave, leaving the others to walk back to the Seretai.

Curious about his captain's perfect timing, Renji asks him, "Captain, you timed your entrance perfectly. Did you hide somewhere with Captain Zaraki and wait for the right moment to show up?"

Rukia, quick to show her view on the matter began to yell at the Lieutenant, "Renji! Don't speak so rudely!"

Byakuya continues to walk as he speaks coolly, "No. It's as he says."

Surprised Renji and Rukia stop walking and simultaneously say, "Eh?!"

Byakuya stops but doesn't face them, "That's part of my job."

Rukia gets all sparkly eyed as she stares at her adoptive brother, "For us, you…"

Byakuya turns to face them, face and voice devoid of all emotion as always, "It is okay. Time flew by quickly while I was all alone with Captain Zaraki."

Kenpachi halts and turns to stare at the others with a perverted grin, the air around him seeming to sparkle.

* * *

**Flashback:**

"Hey, Kuchiki, how long are we gonna wait around in the senkaimon?" Kenpachi asks Byakuya, boredom evident in his voice.

"Only until Head Captain Yamamoto mentions us." Byakuya stated stoically.

"I'm not even gonna ask how you'd know when he did that but us bein' alone together… wanna have some fun, Kuchiki?" Kenpachi asked as he wrapped an arm around Byakuya's waist and pulled him close.

Byakuya drew Senbonzakura and pointed the blade at Kenpachi, "I know the two types of fun you like to have. My heart does not belong to you so I decline being your sex toy. I would rather not fight either but I will defend myself."

"No, little cherry blossom, I heard a saying 'take the body and the heart will follow' I intend to try it so put your toy sword down and give me a kiss, eh?" Kenpachi pulled Byakuya tight against him, gazing into his eyes.

Byakuya couldn't fight a shudder, "No thank you. My heart rests with someone else, someone I trust." Byakuya pulls away from Kenpachi's grasp and readies himself to fight.

Kenpachi sighs, "I'd rather not damage your flawless skin…" He sits down and takes out a pack of cards from inside his shihakusho, "Let's play with these instead."

"Very well." Byakuya sheathes Senbonzakura and sits in front of Kenpachi.

"Good… but so you know, I will have your body one day. If you don't watch your back you will one day find me on it." He winked and started dealing the cards.

Byakuya shuddered at the mental image, "Let's just get on with this…"


	4. I Heard You Like Bananas

**Inspired by another of the Illustrated Picture Book clips.**

**Thank you to those who have reviewed. ^^ **

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Byakuya was in his mansion, doing paperwork and grumbling about an annoying Kenpachi groping his ass in the captain's meeting when he heard a knock at the door.

"Come in." he said with a bored tone.

The door was immediately blasted open, making Byakuya look at the source with wide eyes only made wider by who was now standing in the doorway. It was Kenpachi in a banana suit, "Hey, Kuchiki. I heard you like bananas!"

Byakuya returned to his usual stoic self, "I like them because they are nutritious now if that is all please leave."

Kenpachi sauntered up to Byakuya's desk, "Don't be like that. I have a banana you can peel right here." He said, pointing his thumbs at his suit, "It'll make you feel better and there might even be a surprise banana inside, wadda ya say?"

"Very well. I shall, as you say, 'peel the banana' but I will do it my way." Byakuya replied somewhat seductively as he stood up.

"Hell yeah! That's more like it, Kuchiki, always knew you weren't a complete tight ass. You just needed a litt-wait, what are you doing with that?" Kenpachi's voice held a hint of fear as Byakuya held up Senbonzakura.

"I told you I would peel the banana my way." He smirked, "Scatter, Senbonzakura." The blades tore right through Kenpachi, leaving him a bloodied mess. With that Byakuya left the room, "I trust you will let yourself out."

"Damn it!" Kenpachi yelled.


	5. Seranading

**Greetings and welcome to another random chapter, please enjoy ^-^**

**Warnings: Kenpachi being weird…er, suicides and general randomness**

**Disclaimer: Me still no owny =(**

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Once again Kenpachi stood outside Byakuya's office.

The nobleman had actually barricaded his door and he had squad members, who were rather reluctant, placed in his office to distract Kenpachi so that he can escape if need be, however there was nothing preventing Kenpachi from standing outside his office.

The squad 6 captain felt the other's presence and was immediately irritated.

"Hey, Kuchiki! Can ya hear me?" Kenpachi yelled; further irritating Byakuya who was busy trying to work. "Either ya can't or you're just ignorin' me… oh well, I'll continue anyway! Hehe I hope you enjoy listening to me singing, I heard sera-whatevering someone was romantic or something so here goes!"

Upon hearing this Byakuya's eyes widened and he searched the room for an exit, he quickly realised he had effectively trapped himself inside his office. His plan was to escape should Kenpachi break the door down or blast a hole in the wall. He never imagined the man would stay outside and Byakuya was rather reluctant to put a hole in his own wall and if he were to take down the barricade and open the door Kenpachi would surely kidnap him to defile his body. He would have to put up with whatever Kenpachi had planned.

Kenpachi hummed a melody to himself before he began to sing, rather gruffly, "If you're lost you can look--and you will find me, Time after time, If you fall I will catch you--I'll be waiting, Time after time." The squad 11 Captain smirked to himself, thinking he did well. "How was that eh? Bet'cha never knew I was so romantic and good at singin'! So… you love me now, right?" He shouted, hoping Byakuya could hear him.

Inside Byakuya had forsaken pride in front of his 2 guards and had taken refuge under his desk with his hands over his ears. _'Damn it! I can not believe this man! Not only is he persistent and arrogant he does not know what he can and can not do. And somehow time and time again he makes me relinquish my pride... even in the presence of my subordinates.' _Byakuya uncovered one ear to check the noise had stopped, confirming that it had he crawled out from under his desk. To the Kuchiki's surprise his guards had stabbed each other through the heart, _'A suicide pact… don't blame them. I guess my pride is safe, for now at least… I'll have to cover this up though… Meh, I'll just blame Aizen.' _After having this discussion with himself, Byakuya resumed working, he will take down the barricade and frame Aizen for the deaths of his subordinates later, there was still work to be done after all.

After 15 minutes of waiting for any kind of reply, Kenpachi gave up and walked back to his own office, _'I'm not completely giving up… I won't lose in battle or love! Especially to a man so pretty he turns straight men gay and lesbians straight.'_

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Song** - ****Cyndi Lauper - Time After Time**


	6. Steam Room

Steam room

After training Byakuya decided to relax in the steam room. He undressed in the locker, leaving his clothes in a neat pile on a bench, wrapped a towel around his waist and entered the steam room where he sat and closed his eyes, leaning his head back against the wall.

"Heh, well… I never expected this. Hello, Kuchiki." Came the annoyingly familiar voice of Kenpachi. Byakuya hadn't thought to check if he was alone.

In an instant Byakuya felt Kenpachi's presence _right _next to him, his eyes widened momentarily before he tried to ignore the other man.

Kenpachi grinned perversely, "Hey, Kuchiki, got anything on under that towel?"

Byakuya glanced at Kenpachi and saw a sizeable tent at the front of his towel, the nobleman quickly looked away and he was _not_ blushing… it was the heat of the room. "My attire has nothing to do with you." Byakuya stated coldly.

Not seeing Senbonzakura next to Byakuya, Kenpachi decided it was safe enough to grab Byakuya's towel, at his thigh.

Byakuya let out a surprised squeak, _a very manly squeak_, before grabbing the sword hidden behind him, "Baka! With you around I'm never without Senbonzakura."

"Oh shit." Kenpachi said as he started to back away.

Byakuya smirked, "That won't save you. Scatter, Senbonzakura."

Kenpachi ran out of the steam room as the petals sliced through his skin and his towel.

Byakuya got to see Kenpachi's ass as he ran out, the towel had been cut to shreds, "Well that was certainly more than I needed to see."

- - - - - - - - - -

In the locker room Kenpachi was mumbling to himself about his latest failed attempt when he came across the pile of Byakuya's clothes. Several ideas came to his head and his perverted smirk returned. Kenpachi picked up Byakuya's pants then switched all the towels with flannels before leaving, "You win again Byakuya but this time I've got your pants." Kenpachi stopped as a thought crossed his mind. "Wait a second, if I have his pants and he doesn't, why am I walking away? There's going to be a semi-naked Byakuya and I'm walking away?!"  
"There's going to be a semi-naked Byakuya, hot damn!" Came several excited voices before a crowd of men and women rushed past Kenpachi, making him spin in circles a few times, "Well shit."


End file.
